Fighting For Love
by CarlislesLover
Summary: Esme and Carlisle go on vacation after remembering how they they got where they are now. Was Carlisle's fight for love worth it? Will Esme love him anyways? Written from both perspectives.
1. Chapter 1: My Esme

**Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. The awesome Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga content!**

_**Chapter 1: My Carlisle**_

**Esme's POV  
**

Sitting in the comfy chair in Carlisle's office had always offered me peace. And at a time like this there was no better peace than now. I was hugging my legs to my chest. It was the perfect way to look like I was thinking when I was really staring at my incredible was facing me sitting at his desk, filling out forms for the hospital. The hospital was his life and it was a job that made him happy. Sometimes he spent days there, but I knew that helping other people was what he did. I would never make him feel guilty not spending time with me when there were lives to save. I could hear the scratching of his pen when he signed his name. I know he had signed his name so many times that I was sure that he knew every moment off by heart. He made it look like one fluid moment. Dr. Carlisle Cullen MD. It had a ring to it. Sometimes I could hear a faint little chuckle from him. While he would be rustling the papers. He was probably remembering a cute little girl that had Cancer that he helped. His heart was so huge. I couldn't believe that such an amazing man was mine.

Carlisle was my never ending heaven. I would do anything for that man. And it wasn't just because I loved him with everything I had, it was because he saved me that day so long ago. The day that I tried to end my life. I wanted to jump off that cliff and end it all. I would never be able to live without my baby boy. He had just died earlier that day. So why not end it all so that I would have to feel the pain of not having the only thing that truly loved me for me?

What I didn't know was that soon my saviour would actually come and save me. With one touch of his lips I was his forever. It would always come back to me. I still get a sense of being home when his lips touch my neck. Carlisle has told me the story of how he changed me so many times that I know every word of it and could recite it.

I knew one thing right now and that was that I had to touch him right now. There were things that he did to me without even having to say a word. Seeing him with that slight grin on his face made me want him completely. There were also these certain looks he had that reduced me to nothing. We had this love that was just on another level from the others. It was like we were one person. Our hearts were melted into one.

I got up slowly from my chair and went over to him slowly, I took my index finger and lightly dragged it along the desk. Carlisle slowly looked up at me from what he was doing and asked, "Esme, my love, I love you so much. Why don't you come here this instant."In one fluid moment he grabbed me and set me on his lap. I put my hand on his cheeks and looked him in the eyes. I put my lips to his and gently kissed him. A smile came to his face, one that I had seen so many times before. The one that I loved.

"Carlisle, can you take some time off of work? I would love to go to Isle Esme with you." I said to him while I played with his hair.

With a low growl he answered, "You know I can't resist anything you say when you ask me like that. And also while playing with my hair. That seals the deal. We will leave tomorrow afternoon when I've tied up loose ends."

"There are only two names I'll be calling on our trip. Yours and God's." I said with a smile.

"Perfect." Carlisle said with a cocky smile.


	2. Chapter 2: My Carlisle

**_Chapter 2: My Esme _  
**  
**Carlisle**

Esme…she's my angel brought from heaven just for me. She's my personal angel. One made just for me. I knew when I saw her as a little girl I thought our paths might cross again. It was like I 'imprinted' on her the first time I saw her. I lived life for her and I hoped that I would get to see her sooner than later.

She came to me that night she jumped off the cliff in the form of death. Her heart was just barely beating. I could only feel a faint heartbeat. It would sometime skip and then disappear. I knew I had to do something quick to help save her. There was no way that I was ready to lose someone that I had loved for so long die.

I ran out and gave her Dad the death certificate. I told him that she was already dead when she came to the hospital. There was nothing I could do. I was comforting her Dad the best way I knew possible. I knew Esme might be upset with me that she would never see him again but it had to be done. I told him that her body had to be cremated since that was the only option that they had in cases of suicide. I reassured him that I would take care of everything for him. But really in the next couple of days I would no longer be in the area. I had heard of a small town in Washington, called Forks, I knew I could see our new 'family' living there. We would go there as soon as possible.

I had lived with my 'adopted son' Edward. I had saved him many years ago when he was dying, I knew I couldn't let him go either so I changed him. I knew when I brought Esme home he wouldn't approve but I had to go with how I felt. He would get used to her soon enough.

I took her home that hour. When I carried her in the door I asked Edward to make a place for her in my bedroom. I set her down slowly and knew that I had to change her now before it was too late.

Edward ran to Esme's side and checked her pulse and said, "Carlisle, what are you doing? There is no way you can save her now."

"Edward, please trust me. I saw this girl so many years ago and she's my soul mate I can feel that. I can't just let her die."

"I can't say I approve. We are monsters, why bring someone else into this?"

"When you truly love someone you will do anything to have them with you forever, Edward. Someday, I hope you find that…Now leave me alone and I'll call you when I need you."

With those last words I spoke to Edward I took Esme's human life. I touched her forehead once and whispered, "This is for you my love, so we can become us. I hope you don't hate me because of it."

I moved the hair from her neck and gently put my lips to her neck. When I bit down I felt the warm blood rush into my mouth. It was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. The next couple of days would be the hardest. For everyone in this house.

Edward was doing my nervous pacing for me, just outside in the hallway. He reminded me of the anxious fathers, I had experienced in my multitude of days at the hospital, awaiting to hear that special announcement. Boy or girl.

And then she woke up, my Esme woke up. I was holding her hand hoping that soon she would open her eyes and see me. I squeezed her hand a bit harder when her eyes fluttered to let her know that she wasn't alone. She said the name, "Jakey?" I didn't understand whose name she was calling out but I told her that it wasn't Jakey, but Carlisle.

"Carlisle, why do I remember that name? It sounds so familiar?" She said to me with her eyes still half closed.

Thinking about her then still makes me feel so horrible for what I did. I changed her for selfish reasons. I changed her into a vamp for me, so that I could have her all to myself. I wonder what would have happened if she didn't love me after all that? Would my fighting for love be in vain?


	3. Chapter 3: Preparations

_**Chapter 3: Preparations**_

**Esme**

When I awoke for that first time after Carlisle changed me I was so lost. I had just remembered that I had jumped off a cliff. How was is it that I survived?

All I remembered was that I was so upset with the death of my newborn son, Jakey, that I knew I couldn't continue. I had to end it all. There was no one else that would love me like my son would and really there was no way I would want to live the life I was living anymore. My husband didn't love me. He was out with women every night. It was all part of his 'job'. When I found out I was pregnant I thought maybe not having a husband around for me would make up for it.

When Jakey was born I loved him from the very first moment. He had the smallest feet, the smallest fingers and the most finest curly hair on the top of his head. I loved to just put my hand on his head and know that he was mine. Event the times I would nurse him were precious. I loved that suckling noise he would make, I knew that it was because of me he got what he needed to survive. But one morning when I went to wake him up for his morning nursing he wouldn't wake up. They told me at the hospital that sometimes babies die in their sleep. I was shattered beyond repair. My heart wouldn't stop crying.

So when I awoke and I looked at Carlisle I thought if I survived my fall from the cliff, my son would have survived too. But that wasn't the case. I knew Dr. Cullen from somewhere but I couldn't figure out where. I remember seeing a Dr. Cullen when I was younger but there is no way he could still look the same ten years later. Unless he knew a secret to stay youthful.

Little did I know that I didn't even know the half of it. While I was waking up Carlisle never let go of my hand. It was reassuring to know that I had someone there for me, when most of my life no one wanted to be around me. He whispered in my ear, "Esme dear, don't be scared when you wake up. I will be here for you forever. Please, don't forget that."I was reassured to know that Carlisle wanted to be with me for the rest of my life. He really didn't mean the forever part? Like in forever, never to die? I started to relax and I realized that I wasn't breathing anymore. How could that be possible that my chest couldn't rise and fall? And I felt cold. Really cold.

My eyes snapped open and I wanted to know what was going on immediately. "Dr. Cullen. You explain what has happened to me right this instant."

Carlisle has always had this trusting look on his face. One that has reassured me so many times during my journey. I may have been mad for what he did to me initially but I love him so much now. I took two suitcases out from the walk-in closet Carlisle and I shared and put them on the bed. I loved remembering the story of how Carlisle changed my life and truly breathed life into me even though the affect was quite the opposite.

And now we were going to Isle Esme. My favorite place in the whole world. The island that was given to me by my husband. The one that loved me, that would do anything for me. There is something that has to be said about forever love.

I was waiting for Alice to come running up the stairs to help me choose what I should bring on the trip, but instead a certain someone had other things in mind.

Carlisle came up behind me, pressing himself against me. He moved my hair away from neck and gently started to nibble my neck. With his one hand he cupped my breast, and with the other he unbuttoned my jeans. With one swift movement he started moving his hand down, past the elastic of my panties and into the soft velvety skin of my womanhood. He gently started to massage me with his fingers trying to get me excited.

A low moan escaped my lips. I put my one arm behind me and grabbed at his head pushing his teeth deeper into my neck. My other hand was over top of his helping him massage me. Arching my back I tried to contain myself but I felt like I was going to explode. "Carlisle, we shouldn't be doing this right now. Alice is on her way up, and honestly…I don't want her to see us like this."

He whispered back in my ear, "Esme, my Esme, you are always so self conscience. I'm sure she will hear us at the bottom of the stairs and not come up. She knows us."

He then swiftly pulled my pants down. Darling, just a little taste and I'll go. He threw me back onto the bed and all I could do was just stare into his eyes and let him do what he wanted. He slowly separated my legs and gently inserted one finger into me. I moaned loudly. "Carlisle, don't you dare stop now," I managed to mutter.


	4. Chapter 4: Getting There

_**Chapter 4: Getting There**_

**Carlisle's POV**

Esme always does things to me. I love the way she puts her hair behind her ear, I love the way she giggles at the jokes I tell her, I love the way she loves me so passionately. I could stare at her for my forever and never get bored.

I never had anything like her in my life before. I was always so scared to love. I wandered through life so aimlessly with really no motivation. And then my lovely wife came along.

I remember when I finally asked her to marry me. It was something that I had been over thinking for years. Our family was still just Edward, Esme and me, but we were all so close. I told Edward before hand that I was going to ask her to marry me and he gave me his blessing. Esme was good for us men. She was always so loving and caring and really gave us the attention we all wanted. But I knew it was time to make that amazing woman my wife.

She said yes to me right away and within the week were in front of a justice of the peace declaring that we would indeed be with each other until we died. We didn't have the luxury of being able to change the vows to say, "Together in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall be dead, which is forever." I think we may have been given a couple of funny stares if we did that.

Lacing her hands in mine, I kissed her hand. She was everything I had been wanting for all my life. And watching her in the plane on the way to Isle Esme I knew that feeling would never change. Being with someone forever seems daunting to most, but not to me. To me it was heaven. I loved the thought of having my own personal angel for my whole life. And knowing that my life would never end even made it better.

I reached out to touching her hair and saw her smile back at me. It felt like the best imported silk that money could buy. I know this personally since I have had the pleasure to help Esme more than once on her projects. Anything that woman wants, she gets. She mouthed, "I love you," to me. Watching her lips move I remembered all the times I had touched those lips to mine. And how many times those lips touched me. On my neck, on my chest, and on my most intimate parts. She would just know how to use her lips to her advantage.

I know we would have fun on Isle Esme. There was so much to do. And Esme's favorite thing? Skinny dipping just at dusk. I couldn't wait to hold her soft body against mine in the water.


	5. Chapter 5: The Island

_**Chapter 5: The Island**_

**Esme's POV**

I always loved coming to Isle Esme. I remember the first time that I saw this place. Carlisle made me close my eyes all the way from the airport until we got just to the outskirts of the island.

"My Esme, it's time for you to see perfection. Well, perfection after me, of course." Carlisle whispered in my ear.

He took the blindfold off of my eyes, and I looked up. I felt him behind me embracing me and kissing the back of my neck.

"It's a little something I picked up for you. What could I get a vampire that has everything? An island of course."

I was in awe. I saw the turquoise water that went right up to the shoreline, the soft white sand looked amazing and something I couldn't wait to stick my toes in. I saw all of the amazing trees, they were so green. But I couldn't see the cottage. I had to see the cottage. (Even though I wouldn't have cared if we slept on the grass.)

When the boat docked Carlisle linked his hand in mine and led me slowly down the boardwalk. I loved the sound of our footsteps on the wood. It would echo and it was a sound that I could never get out of my head. Every time life would get to me I could think of our footsteps on this boardwalk and feel calm.

Carlisle continued to take me down the path. The path had little torches lighting the way. I swore that I would never leave this place. I had fallen in love already and Carlisle hadn't shown me the best part of the island.

"Darling, the cottage is just up around this bend, I really hope you like it. If you don't like it we can rip it down and build a new one. I have no problems with that. I would do anything to make you happy." Carlisle said with a quick kiss to my cheek.

"You should know by now that I don't care about the material goods. I care that you bought me this and I will love it if it's a hole in the ground...really." I said turning to look at him. I gave him a quick hug and proceeded on the path.

We went along the turn in the path and then I gasped. There was no way something so beautiful could be hidden like that among the trees. I fell in love the first time I laid my eyes on it.

"Carlisle, " I said. "This is too much, it really can't be ours."

The cottage was a dark brown wood color, it was all open concept with only beams separating the rooms. You could see right through it. There was curtains set up around the spots there wasn't walls and they were blowing in the breeze. I ran up to the place and walked up the three stairs. I felt the breeze go right by me. I knew this place was home to me now.

"I want to spoil you for the rest of your life, Esme, and if that island helps me do that...then what I am doing is working. My life is for you. And only you. Forever." Carlisle said spinning me around so he could kiss me. My hands went up his shirt to feel his skin against them. He was too amazing for me. I still don't know what I did to deserve such a man like him.

"Esme..." Carlisle said to me in the present. "We are here, it's time for our vacation to start."

"That sounds like music to my ears."


	6. Chapter 6: Dusk

_**Chapter 6: Dusk**_

**Esme's POV**

Night had fallen on the island. Carlisle and I had a busy day spending it laying in the bed snuggling or reading on the shoreline. But dusk was my favorite time. The time that I valued the most.

I liked being out at the time that was usually reserved for humans and their sleep. Everything was calmer and quieter. There was always the hustle and bustle of life during the day. But at night the world seemed to stop and I could sit back and enjoy it. You could hear the chirping of birds, you could hear the rustle of branches under you feet, you could just enjoy.

I slowly stood up and went to the waterside. I loved to just dip my toes in to feel the water on my skin. It was a feeling that I enjoyed so much more lately. Realizing that this time was as good as any I slowly took off my shirt and shorts and walked out to the water.

Skinny dipping was something I could do on this island and not worry anyone would see me. And I could see into the water with the moon in the sky. Running my hands through the water as I walked out further I imagined that I could easily see myself living here for the rest of my life.

I heard splashes behind me before I knew it. And Carlisle's powerful arms embraced me from behind.

"I hope you are my husband, or he's going to get mighty mad at you mister," I said to Carlisle.

"I am sure I could fight him off." Carlisle said with a growl.

I turned around so I could face him and looked him in the eyes. I put my hands on his cheeks and kissed him slowly. "I love you so much darling."

"I love you too. You always look so beautiful in the moonlight." He lightly touched my arms. "Look how your skin looks."

He put his arms around me once again and pulled me down with him in the water. "Now I can hold you closer." I wrapped my legs around him feeling that he was hard.

"Darling, I love the way you feel against me in the water." I pushed myself on top of him, moaning a bit as he penetrated me. I moaned softly and arched my back as he put my nipple in his mouth. He sucked it gently while slowly moving me up and down against him.

He started off slow and started to gain momentum. I pushed up against him closer. I put my arms around his neck and started to moan. I helped him by putting my hand under the water to play with myself. I gently started kneading the softest spot and started to moan in time with his growling.

Carlisle got faster whispering in my ear, "I love it when we fuck like this in the water. I feel so free."

I started rubbing myself harder and said, "I love the way you fuck me in the water. Your manhood fills me up and makes me want nothing more."

"Just like that Carlisle...just like that...I'm almost there," I screamed.

"Esme, my Esme, I'll take you as high as you want to go," he said in my ear. As he had an orgasm in time to mine.

We stayed embracing in the water letting the rain that had started falling stream down our faces. There was nothing more perfect than this moment.

"Darling," Carlisle said to me. "Would you like to go for round two?"


	7. Chapter 7: Remembering

_**Chapter 7: Remembering **_

**Esme's POV**

Waking up surrounded by people I didn't know was scary to me. I remember hearing Carlisle say that he would be there for me forever. But I thought that was just a saying he was using. You know forever isn't really forever. I had slept through my transformation. But I didn't know that.

"Dr. Cullen? Is that you? I didn't know that you made house calls. Besides what happened to me?" I asked him. I looked down and noticed that he was still holding my hand. Instinctively I moved it away from him. And when I did Carlisle crinkled up his forehead hurt.

'I am Dr. Cullen. I brought you to my house to take care of you. I have my son, Edward, here too. We have been nursing you back to health together. Edward has done all the pacing in this situation, while I sat by you the whole time."

"I am still confused. I don't understand. Where is my Dad?"

"Your Dad is at his house. I told him to go rest and I would call him when you woke up." Carlisle quickly muttered.

Little did I know that I would never be able to see my Dad again because he thought I was dead. I just had figured that Carlisle was telling me the truth. I didn't realize that he wanted me so bad that he was willing to lie to my family to keep me.

I started to really examine Carlisle closer, I noticed that he was so pale, and I remember when I was a little girl that I touched his hand and it was so cold. Now prodding at his hand again I realized it wasn't cold anymore. I also noticed that my skin matched his too. Whatever happened to me, I had the same thing that Carlisle had.

"Doctor, can I ask you exactly what happened to me? I think I am done with being curious about it. I notice that I have the same exact skin as you now? And you used to feel so cold. And now...I don't feel the difference at all." I said to him.

"I will tell you Esme, but you must keep an open mind and if at any time you want me to stop just tell me. I will. I'll start now...They brought you into the ER after you had fallen off the cliff. Your heart was barely beating anymore. I knew that since I had seen you when you were a little girl and I felt a connection with you then that I couldn't see you die.

"You would have died that night if it were up to modern medicine, it couldn't have saved you at all. I knew of a way to save you and I would have to tell your Dad that you had died in order to accomplish this. I went out and told your Dad that you had passed on and that I would make all the arrangements for him. He was upset because he thought you had died of a broken heart.

"I took you back here to my place with my son, Edward, and even though Edward disagreed with me at first I went ahead with the next step of the process..."

I had to interrupt him. The story sounded so surreal, he could keep me alive but he had to tell my Dad I was dead? And the plan must have worked because here I was talking to him."I don't understand, you had to tell my Dad I died? But I'm not dead if I'm here with you right now."

"I know Esme it's so confusing. Stick with me here while I try and tell you everything. Edward and I are vampires, and I knew that if I had turned you into one that I would be able to have you in my life and we would be able to spend forever together."

"But how would you know that's what I would want? How dare you choose something like that for me? Why didn't I have a say in what I wanted?" I raised my voice at him getting angry.

"You were almost dead, darling, I really couldn't ask you. I just had to make this choice. I would hope that someday you would forgive me for what I did. I thought with my heart. I have this power to save people and I wanted to save you. Just like I saved Edward when he was close to death too.

"I loved you so much. So much that I would do anything for you to be with me. So later that night I changed you. I bit your neck, and I knew the first time that I tasted your sweet blood that this was the right thing. As my blood starting going through your body I noticed you becoming alive again. Or rather dying. You die when you become a vampire. That's why you don't need to breathe.

"There are so many other things we can do too, but I'll tell you all about that later. I sat by your side the whole time, nursing you until you woke up. My Esme, you are here now, and you are with me." Carlisle seemed so proud that it worked and the 'love of his life' was finally with him.

"But I don't know you, at all. Especially now. I'm not sure how I can love you. I just don't know. I am very grateful for you to think of me like this and give me another chance. I just am not sure about any of this. I'm sorry Carlisle." I said and looked down. There was no way I could look into his eyes and see the disappointment there.

He got up from the bed and started to walk away, he turned around and said, "I knew you would say that Esme. There is no pressure for you to fall in love with me. But remember no matter what I'll be here for you forever. I'm not going anywhere. I have found who I want to spend my whole life. And it's with you. Take your time. Get used to who you are. I'll always be here."

Looking back now I realized that there was no one else that Carlisle ever wanted as much as me. There was this way he lights up when he sees me. Even across the room, you can tell his Esme has arrived. I never saw that with anyone else before. Well, besides the way that Edward looked at Bella. They were in love just as much as Carlisle and I were.

I still wonder how he could have taken the chance on keeping me alive knowing that I may not have loved him in the end?


	8. Chapter 8: Falling In Love

_**Chapter 8: Falling in Love**_

**Esme's POV**

I couldn't believe he walked away from me and let me, be me. I know after all the things that Carlisle did for me that walking away had to be the hardest thing. I didn't know what I felt for him at all and now I had dealing with whatever he changed ME into. I wanted to know everything about what I was and how my new life might play out. I said the word many times out loud in the room, "Vampire, Vampire, Vampire." Every time I said it it sounded more and more surreal to me. Would I have to kill humans? I would never be able to hurt another person in my life.

I got up slowly and noticed that there was a mirror in the room. I walked up to it slowly and looked into it. The person that looked back at me didn't look anything like I remembered. Her face was pale and her eyes were an insane color. I don't know how I would ever get used to this.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked behind me. It was Carlisle. "I thought may be you might be ready for me to tell you what you were."

I turned around slowly and hugged him. I never told him a proper thank you for saving my life. I might not really know what was in store but I did know that he loved me and would protect me now. I took his hand as he led me to the nearest couch. He sat there for hours explaining what type of vampire I was and how I would end up hunting. If you knew Carlisle, you knew that he couldn't explain anything straight forward, especially if it had to do with any thing scientific. I thought it was cute how he would get so excited in what he was saying. I would have to really try and give him a chance.

After he took me on my first hunt of an elk I knew I really had to sit down and absorb what I was doing and feeling. And I really missed my dad. I just hope he knew that I was happier here than I had ever been.

Carlisle starting spending more time with me. He was gentle and soft and never pushed me to feel anything that I didn't. I guess he had forever to convince me because I wasn't going anywhere. I loved being in this family with Carlisle and Edward. Even Edward warmed up to me and soon started playing songs for me on the piano. I think that was my favorite part of the day. All of us would gather in the library and I would sit on the couch with Carlisle holding his hand and Edward would play for us.

I wanted to get to know the both of them with everything I had before I decided that I wanted to marry Carlisle. I had forever to decide, this was something that I couldn't take lightly. For once I was tied to this man I would never turn back. Besides, Carlisle and Edward were all that I had left in this world.

I remember my first kiss with Carlisle. We were walking down one of the paths from the house fresh off of a hunt. We were acting all giddy and holding hands. I found so much comfort in his arms and when he held my hand I felt amazing. Carlisle stopped in the middle of the path and turned me to face him. He slowly put his hands up and down my arms and looked me deeply in the eyes. I looked up at him and said, "What would you like amazing Carlisle?"

"I was hoping that tonight maybe could be the beginning of us." Carlisle said with a grin.

"I was hoping the same thing..." I went up on my tippy toes, cupped my hands on his cheeks and started to kiss him. Smiling against his lips I said, "Was this what you were thinking?"

He put his hands through my hair and kissed me again, this time with more passion then I had shown him. "I don't think you are going to get away with a little kiss tonight."

That night changed everything between us. I knew that I loved Carlisle. And he had changed me so that we could be together. He was my life now, my Carlisle.


End file.
